i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
