You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
