was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
