I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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