Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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