Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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