3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
