can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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