You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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