i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
