how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I understand Curling. That high.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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