It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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