This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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