Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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