i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
