im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
