Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
