She's JV to your varsity
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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