its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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