I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
