good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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