last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
