I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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