Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
