You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
