We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
