i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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