You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize