then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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