Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
