I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
