he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize