Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
