Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm so fucking centered right now
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
