Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
