I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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