Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
