Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
