the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
