Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
