I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
