you would pick up someone in the library
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
