when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
