party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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