This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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