they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
