Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She bit a glass in half.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
