I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
