This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
