I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
high people should be assigned attendants
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
