so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
