I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
