you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
