walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
