So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
