new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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