Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
