No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
