Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
