How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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