He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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